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Tuesday, 5 February 2013

Cover Girl


So, it’s been a while. 

To be frank, I have no excuse but for a spectacular case of writer’s block. To put this into perspective, please note that before my previous hard drive fritzed itself into oblivion, (taking with it 10 years of photos and music), there was a word doc permanently open, waiting for my thoughts and feelings regarding a book. One specific book: The Rules According to JWOWW!

I wonder what she's measuring?


I never thought that there would be a barrel I wouldn’t scrape in order to secure an easy laugh. But this book, by Jersey Shore ‘Guidette’ Jeni  Farley, proved to be my Waterloo. I read the book from cover to cover, I really did. And honestly, it was exactly what you’d expect. There’s very little fun to be had (as I discovered) in attempting to mock something you knew would be completely mockable.  And so, for two months the document sat accusingly in my task bar as I gradually deleted its contents. When my hard drive gave up the ghost, only one part of my review remained. A quote taken from the book, along with the only picture that could possibly do it any justice. Before moving on, therefore, I present you with my review of The Rules According to JWOWW! – A.K.A: The Unsnarkable rules of Jeni Farley .


‘Hanging with the hottest gorilla in the club’.

There. With that out of the way, let’s move on to something ENTIRELY unexpected.

Sylvia Plath’s The Bell Jar is celebrating (is that the right word?) its fiftieth year of publication. It’s a sad truth that despite its brilliance, it never received the attention or praise of her poetic works. Nevertheless, if the words ‘Sylvia Plath’ are in any way familiar to you, you won’t need to have read the novel to know it’s not a feel-good romp. Frolics, hi-jinks and humorous lessons on life, love and shopping are notably absent. Throw in the biographical detail that her suicide followed publication by a few short months and the clouds darken ever further over the novel. In an extract from a letter written to her mother Plath writes: “I think it will show how isolated a person feels when he is suffering a breakdown... I've tried to picture my world and the people in it as seen through the distorting lens of a bell jar.”

So imagine my surprise when the new, 50th anniversary edition of the book plopped merrily onto my trolley.




Look back at the quote, now back at the cover. Quote… cover… quote… cover…

… I know, right?

Many column inches have been filled over the weekend on this topic. The the cover has been ridiculed almost unanimously for missing the point by a very wide margin indeed.

I have to admit that the vitriol expressed has been slightly unwarranted. Yes, it bears no relevance to the book’s contents in the slightest, but the wailing and gnashing of teeth is, let’s face it, ever so slightly Over The Top.

Just tell me WHY?!?


It has been accused of being anti-feminist.
It’s a woman wearing make-up.
A woman wearing make-up is not by definition anti-feminist
.
I would cheerfully kick anyone who questioned my feminist credentials in the groin. But I would also do so to anyone attempting to rob me of my blusher and eyeliner. 

Preciousss....


Crotch kicking all round. That’s feminism.
 (nb:  please note that that is not the definition of feminism. Quote me on that and I’ll kick you i….. etc. etc.)

Insensitive? Yes. Bizarre? Yes. Demeaning? No.

I would argue that we have been heading in this direction for a very long time. Having worked with books all of my adult life, I have seen book covers of all types cross my desk and counter, and have hated a good 60% of them. Anodyne, boring and frankly bizarre, they often do the book’s contents a huge disservice. I am not alone. My colleague who runs the SciFi section of our shop emits audible groans when yet another book lands on her trolley with a mysterious cloaked figure in profile or middle distance, often accompanied by the outline of a weapon. In silhouette.

The adventures of one man and his dressing gown.

 Her point is a good one. For a bookseller passionate about extolling the virtues of science fiction to readers wary of the clichés and tropes of the genre, these covers do her no favours whatsoever.  It is painfully obvious that in many cases, no one beyond a couple of editors have bothered reading the contents before deciding on the cover. Now that’s marketing for you.

I could go on...


In my opinion, the ridiculous cover gracing The Bell Jar is the logical conclusion to years and years of awful artwork decisions. It is only because the subject is so well known for being the polar opposite to the spirit of the cover that it has attracted this level of press attention.
There are, I think, two directions in which the publishing industry can now head. Either a sea change occurs; with an increase of money, resources and (frankly) imagination going into cover art… OR we take it to the other extreme: contrapuntal jacket design.
I would genuinely love to see publishers attempt to smooth over their mistakes of the past by producing series of book jackets which deliberately and heroically miss the point. With The Bell Jar as an iconic trailblazer, the books would each be decorated with a photograph or piece of artwork which either bares absolutely no resemblance to the book’s contents, or instead focuses on entirely the wrong aspect of the story.

So taken was I by this idea that I have taken the liberty of using my prodigious Microsoft Paint skills to get the ball rolling on this one. Enjoy.

Admit it, you're all jealous of my mad Paint skillz









Sorry, I couldn't resist...


Having got the ball rolling, I'll quit whilst I'm ahead. 



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This landed on my trolley today. Coincidence?!? (clearly I bought it).







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